Let me tell you about the day I met and held our eldest daughter for the first time.

I have a very clear memory of the first moment I was alone with her. The labour was done and I had that heady mix of hormones from the relief of it being over and elation at the result. My husband had gone home to shower and change and I was in a hospital room, holding her in my arms. She was the most beautiful baby you have ever laid eyes on—objectively so, of course! As I looked out the window at the busy pedestrian traffic along the road below, I remember being so astonished that all those people were walking around like it was just a normal day. Here I was holding my very own child—this whole new eternal soul was in my arms! It felt like the most momentous moment of my life so far; the world had shifted on its axis ... and yet for all those other people it was just an ordinary day.

Well, it’s now been many years since that day. And you won’t be surprised to hear I’m no longer so astonished at everyone else going about their normal lives. Being a mother is now something that feels very ordinary, very mundane, and is very much just the fabric of my day-to-day existence. And while on the day of my daughter’s birth mothering felt like a huge and significant thing to me, on most days now it feels like just being on autopilot.

I don’t think it should necessarily be our aim to always feel that sense of astonishment when it comes to mothering, but there’s also a danger in being on autopilot. We can lose sight of what it is we are seeking to do in our mothering. We can go through the motions without having a big purpose driving what we are doing. We can just react to the challenges in front of us each day without pausing to consider what we are proactively aiming to achieve.

The Purpose of Mothering

At the very beginning of creation, God gives humanity a mandate. In Genesis we read that part of the first ever command given to the first ever man and woman is to ... become parents! God tasks them with filling the earth with more people by having children:

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Gen 1:28)

We see this command lived out over many generations, as the population of earth grows and grows, until we reach the time of Christ. After his resurrection, Jesus gives a new mandate to his followers. In Matthew 28:18 we read:

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

So, the earth is to be filled not just with people, but with people who are disciples of Jesus. What a charge! What a commission! We can often hear this verse and feel stirred to take the gospel to the very ends of the earth. We might imagine it as some far-off activity that happens in Africa or Indonesia after many years of training.

While that sort of disciple-making is of course immensely important, remember that Jesus’ teaching here applies to all of us, wherever we are. And it applies today, not just in the far-off future when we feel suitably trained and equipped.

As we go, we are to be in the business of making disciples. And how delightful it is that some of those would-be disciples are those who have been birthed from our own bodies or adopted into our own families. There is no better opportunity to disciple somebody—to instill a deep love for the Lord, a deep trust in his goodness, a deep passion for his glory—than the one we have with the children we raise in our own homes.

The commission Jesus has given us as his followers will shape our purpose in motherhood: to make disciples or, perhaps more accurately in parenthood, raise disciples, in loving relationship with us, their parents. We want to see children who are living in relationship with God in joyful obedience—not just displaying the correct behaviour, but with hearts that are renewed by the Spirit and transformed by the love and grace of Jesus. There are many things we might want for our children, but this ought to be our chief and overriding desire.

Day-to-Day and Minute-to-Minute Parenting

Now, it’s likely that none of this is new to you. But how much of our day-to-day and minute-to-minute parenting is actually characterized by it?

If our chief desire for our children is that they grow up to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength, how much does that direct our parenting? How often are we more fixated with other things that we want for our children?

Sometimes we can even be more concerned with what we want from our children. We might want them to reflect well on us and make us look good. We can be focused on what they will provide us, like a built-in best friend à la Gilmore Girls. Perhaps we are more consumed by the perceived need for our child to measure up to their peers and we become overly worried about whether they are speaking in sentences or reading fluently or getting into the right sports team or university course. We can focus on ensuring our children make us feel valued and valuable—perhaps we are seeking the delight of someone who sees us as their inspiration or role model.

What will our mothering look like if we keep the main goal as our main goal? I want to go on now in the first part of this book and suggest some principles and priorities we will focus on if we are seeking to raise children to be disciples. As with all things, we will need God’s help to do this. So would you pray with me now that as we think about these principles and priorities, he will indeed help us? (This prayer is based loosely on Colossians 1:6–14.)

Heavenly Father, we are so thankful that you have made yourself known to us and have rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of your beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Lord God, please fill us with the knowledge of your will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so we might mother in a way that is worthy of you and pleases you in every way. Enable us to bear fruit in every good work, growing in our knowledge of you and being strengthened with all power according to your glorious might so that we may have great endurance and patience. We ask for your wisdom as we seek to help our children learn the gospel and truly understand your grace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Motherhood: How the Gospel Shapes our Purpose and Priorities

 Do you ever get the sense that you’re stuck on autopilot as a mother? That day follows day, and you’re just going through the motions while life rushes past? In this warm, insightful book, Jocelyn Loane asks us to pause for a moment to consider the immense privilege and responsibility before us as mothers. With grace and humor, Jocelyn shows us how the gospel shapes the big priorities as well as the nitty-gritty moments of motherhood. (Click to View Product)